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All the Submicroscopic Cracks

by Joe Hickey

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1.
Escape Plan 03:53
The airbrake fractures my newborn daydream Can I already be there? Can I already be there? Already drifting off on a rainy January morning At the bus stop, and blissfully unaware My eyes closed and hidden behind a curtain of skin That chains me to the moments I’m stuck in So I’ll keep one eye looking upwards and the other behind me Not sure what in the hell I’m expecting will find me But I bet it’s gaining fast, oh it’s gaining fast Oh my God, it’s not even 9am and I need a vacation Need some unfiltered inspiration Need a new penny to shine until it glows And I need a new stage to occupy and a new song to get me high And an audience like me escaping their woes Our eyes closed and hidden behind a curtain of skin That chains us to the moments we’re stuck in One eye looking upwards and the other behind me Not sure what in the hell I’m expecting will find me But I bet it’s gaining fast, oh it’s gaining fast These stubborn ducks won’t stay in their rows They’re evasive and they’re dancing in the aisles And I question every day this future that I chose And it’s all I can do to crack a smile So I’ll head up the road just a couple miles Maybe hang out at Blakes for a little while I’m gonna sing with my friends and smile Oh even when it ain’t Monday, I’m used to salvaging some days With what my eyes see when they’re… Closed and hidden behind a curtain of skin That chains us to the moments we’re living One eye looking upwards and the other behind me Not sure what in the hell I’m expecting will find me But I bet it’s gaining fast; please, let it be gaining fast
2.
Sure would be nice to be rich someday I would snap my fingers and I’d have my way Wouldn’t have to worry about every price I pay Except what I shelled out to get this way Amass your wealth, you might sacrifice yourself Protecting all that money can’t do wonders for your health I’ve lost my way to center, can’t put my worries on the shelf A pedestal sure sounds like a nice place The clouds beneath me and above me only space The air is clearer and the sun always shines upon my face What a waste, and what a long long way down to fall from grace Gave up being holy, forgot being wise The top of the heap was just the bottom in disguise I thought it so idyllic, but the same fear applies Do it for the love, do it for the joy and the thrill ‘Cause being the best ain’t ever gonna cure all your ills Bring yourself to life, baby, because nothing and no one else will  
3.
You need your enemies like you need your friends And you need world peace like a hole in your head Salvation, what could be further from heaven sent? ‘Cause God loves a villain, an evil to rail against Where would all our energy go without somewhere to aim? Tell me, would we explode without a world to save? I need a drop of darkness to help discern the light Everytime I’m wronged I get that much better at recognizing right And I want to freeze, because melting felt so nice I’ve got balance and contrast locked within my sights We’re all rocks bouncing up and down this hill And the sharp edges fade With every collision with the ground We’re closer to perfect and closer to saved The thief, the terrorist, the murderer, the liar Slap a target on his back, and crown your new Messiah No good without evil, no fire without ice So here’s your sacrificial lamb to save you from your own device You need cracks to fall through and you need mountains to climb Does time heal all wounds or do wounds just mark the time? Where would all our energy go without somewhere to aim? Tell me, would we explode without a world to save?
4.
Saturnine moon detesting all your survey Spitting venom at approaching day After a fitful night’s sleep I’ll be home soon on each updraft awoken and jarred On a redeye flight under your guard Entrusted to your fickle keep Waxing, waning, too engrossed in celestial affair Are you watching, do you even care? Do you? The world dreams while you execute your nightly run Envying the fortunate sun That gives consciousness its sight Prodigal though I seem I am only hear to implore Get me safe back to Baltimore By daylight Waxing, waiting, too exhausted to raise my head Weary but waking, can’t close my eyes instead Your call goes unheeded No assurance you’re even needed Let alone adored But attention never the objective Your affection’s ineffective And ignored Quietly you strain, pulling waters over the land They’re refreshed by an unseen hand But unaware of its name
5.
None
6.
Test Drive 04:37
Decision made under streetlight Just eight hours, maybe seven if the traffic breaks just right And I could hold her tight Setting out from by the Bay Headed southbound on the 5 for nearly half the day I feel like a cliché ‘Cause I never saw this coming and I’m feeling so alive So I’m packing up some things and I’m going for a drive My car’s doing 80, my heart 165 Hayward, Dublin, Livermore 6 days 14 hours since it started, but who’s keeping score? And what would you even use that kind of data for? Through Coalinga and Bakersfield I’m overcaffeinated, overstimulated and far from even-keeled Ever since my heart came unsealed ‘Cause I never saw her coming and I feel over-revived So I’m packing up some things and I’m going for a drive My car’s doing 80, my heart’s doing 165 Calibration is a challenge when you find yourself Suddenly resonating And I’m a sine wave through the Grapevine Cutting down the distance stubbornly separating us When I get in, the evening’s near The day is idling but something new is revving up here Do you know how to steer? ‘Cause I never saw you coming and I feel over-revived So I gathered up some things and I’m ready to take a dive My car’s doing 80, my heart’s doing 165 My car doing 84, my heart 165
7.
Deserving 04:16
There’s a disconnect between what you expect to see In the mirror’s version of reality And what stares back, you see only what you lack All the sub-microscopic cracks You’ve gotta go easier on you You think it’s moving you forward but it’s dragging you down Easier on you… easier… And would it kill you to feel deserving? Nothing’s perfect but it’s worth it anyway Would it kill you to feel deserving? The impostor at the door, that’s who you’re waiting for ‘Cause the whole world’s gonna know your secret before Too much longer, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger Until it pulls you under You think it’s moving you forward but it’s dragging you down Easier… easier… And would it kill you to feel deserving? Nothing’s perfect but it’s worth it anyway Would it kill you to feel deserving? This tree can’t have grown From these tiny seeds you’ve sown, you swear You steal the thunder from Every lightning bolt that comes from thin air And so it won’t be long before A smoking splintered mess is all that’s left there You think it’s moving you forward…   (Quincy’s verse) I got that geeky flow still smooth as Vaseline We used to listen to “Issues”, read comic book magazines I’m all grown up now, so the world’s gotta listen Gamers, musicians, skaters with no supervision No suit and tie but with the rhymes I get busy Quincy, the sensitive rapper, on guitars with Joe Hickey Put me in front of a MC I eat his face like a cannibal They told me that those video game sounds were unsampleable There should be a sign on my front door saying “Don’t Feed the Animals”, when me and my friends hang out, I ramble Long dreadlocks as I stood over the piano I wore a backpack, a camo jacket with the flannel Shoot back and never talk to the cops, that’s what I learned I grew up in the ghetto, now I live in the ‘burbs And through the words, I related to those who stood on the curb I told the world I was a nerd, fly as a flock of birds Though I came from the dirt, we fresh as a tic-tac There’s no such thing as a mistake or a mishap If they bring the money, tell them that we need a big bag After this I’ma roll Kermit the Frog in a zigzag, yeah (Joe and Tawnee, again) And would it kill you to feel deserving? Nothing’s perfect but it’s worth it anyway Would it kill you to feel deserving?

about

A collection of songs written over the duration of my musical career (April 2001 is the earliest, January 2016 the most recent) recorded with my closest, insanely talented musical friends from all three bands I've played with seriously in California.

A complete celebration of my 13 years out here gigging, open mic-ing and loving music. I hope you enjoy!

credits

released January 14, 2017

Performed by Joe Hickey
with my best musical friends:
Grace Woods, Whitney Jacobson, Jacob Wolkenhauer, Matt Cascardi, Drew Hamilton, Ronny Johnston, Quincy Mosby and Tawnee Kendall

Engineered by
Oren Lipson & friends at Ex’pression College (Emeryville),
Joan Pez at Tweet Music (Oakland),
Jacob Wolkenhauer at Wolkenhouse (Berkeley), and
Drew Hamilton at Weasel Den Noise (Oakland)

Produced and Mixed by Jacob Wolkenhauer
Mastered by Tardon Feathered at Mr. Toad’s
Cover and Insert photography by Jin Shirai
Insert design by Joe Hickey and Aya Shirai

© 2017 Blinking Twelve Music

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Joe Hickey Martinez, California

Joe Hickey is a teacher-by-day/rockstar-by-night, moving audiences in the SF Bay Area since 2003.

To his solo music, he brings a love for unusual imagery and stark honesty, and marries it to folk, rock and pop influences ranging from Ani DiFranco to Jethro Tull to Fiona Apple to Gentle Giant to Jeff Buckley, drizzling his pleading but powerful tenor voice all over that potent mixture.
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